Security at the Gateway of India monument was ‘next level’, and paul caught the attention of an overzealous security guard.

October 2016

By virtue of me being a Fellow of The Royal Society of the Arts (The RSA) I was afforded an opportunity in late 2016 to be a delegate in the Emerging Leaders Dialogue Asia (ELDA) in Malaysia. I was selected, got my immunisations, and took flight all within a couple of weeks of lodging my application. I was one of a hundred or so delegates under 45 years of age from across Commonwealth countries to participate. I was one of eight delegates to tour India as part the ELDA experience.

One of Mumbai’s most popular tourist attractions, the Gateway to India monument, had lots of tourist and lots of security. Like most of ELDA, wherever we went, I was interested in what was going on at the margins. Across the road from the arch-monument was the Taj Mahal Palace and Tower Hotel where a four day siege claimed the lives of 31 people in November 2008 (this was one of nine sequenced attacks conducted by a terrorist cell that claimed 165 lives). I wandered over to explore the facade that I recognised from the news. The scale of the building was immense. During my exploration I stumbled across an armoured car and highly armed security forces faced toward the monument and the hotel. The armoured vehicle had a roof mounted machine gun. These guys meant business. Slightly obscured from the hotel, they were ready for action. They were alert. I tried to take a quick photo, worried that I would be caught. Interestingly it wasn’t the “peace keepers” that got me, it was several minutes earlier as we approached the precinct that I struck trouble going through security.

As had been the case all tour, I was carrying a small stuffed toy in my backpack. A miniature Fozzie Bear, from Jim Henson’s Muppets, was gifted to me by my partner, and I took tourist snaps with Fozzie everywhere I went. At the security check point at the Gateway an over zealous guard took my toy out of my bag and began to inquire. I thought at first this was an attempt at banter and Fozzie would be returned to the back pack from whence he came. But no. Fozzie was genuinely under suspicion of being an explosive device. The guard demanded to know what it was. I stated, “Um, it’s a kids toy, a Muppet, its Fozzie Bear”. The language gap did not help, but his eyes narrowed and he began to pick at Foz’s undercarriage. “What’s in it?”, the guard demanded. “Ahh, I’m not sure, pellets, um, rice maybe”. The guard motioned to his colleague and they both inspected the toy. I pointed to the authenticity tag and repeated that it was toy. I may have repeated that it was Fozzie Bear the Muppet with my voice trailing off as I mouthed “waka waka”. I resumed my silence as my attempt at humour to diffuse the situation was not helping.

My bag inspection was dragging on. A growing line of people behind me were getting increasingly frustrated.  I watched as the guard waved his head from side to side as if trying to weigh up the potential threat this toy posed to this historic site and visitors. Either that or he had a child at home that could do with a cute soft toy. I raised my eyebrows and smiled, “Fozzie…toy”. The guard capitulated, he tossed Foz back in the bag and moved me on without a further word being spoken. I rejoined the group who had noticed my delayed arrival. They asked if all was okay and what happpened. I mumbled I was fine, and the I had had a small misunderstanding with the guard. We scattered after this and Foz and I gravitated to the security guards with even bigger guns.